Potato and Leek jokes

POTATO JOKES
What do you do to keep a large, angry potato happy?
Butter him up.

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Why did the potato cross the road?
She saw a fork in the road.

An old man wrote to his son in jail. He complained that he was too elderly to dig up his garden to plant this year's potatoes.

The son wrote back to his father ending his letter with "don't dig up the garden dad, that's where I hid the money from the robbery"

Next morning a van full police men arrived at the dad's house and dug up the garden looking for the money. They found nothing.

The father then wrote to his son in jail asking what he should do about the garden.

The son wrote back "Now you can plant the potatoes"

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"I think" said the sweet potato, "therefore I yam"

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Q. Why do potatoes make good detectives?
A. Because they keep their eyes peeled.

LEEK JOKES
Q. What vegetable do plumbers like?
A. Leeks

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Q. Why did the vegetable soup fall out of the bottom of the bowl?
A. It had a leek in it

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A man goes to the doctor with a leek sticking out of one ear and a potato out of the other ear. He asks the doctor what's wrong.

The doctor thinks a lot then tells him "Well, for one thing, you're not eating correctly".

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An old lady asked her female friend how she was getting on.

The friend replied "Not so good, Ted died last night. I asked him to dig up a leek for me so that I could make Leek and Potato soup. He went into the garden, had a massive heart attack and died instantly"

"Oh you poor thing" replied the old lady. "What did you do?"

"I opened a can of peas instead."

Leek and Potato Soup Recipes